I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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