well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Semen is not good for contacts.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
this hospital has no fireball
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
