Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
