And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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