I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
