Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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