your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
