You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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