Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The Olympian is in my bed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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