You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Porn is love you can see.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
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