come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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