Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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