You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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