I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
