How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
