I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
