I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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