I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
