omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
