We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Randomize
