Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
