Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
