You smell like a Billy Joel song
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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