Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
