Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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