and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
