So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
