I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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