If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I want her autograph on my taint
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
