Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
