Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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