theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
