Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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