just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
