yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
