Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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