As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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