why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
