You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
