he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
