guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
