their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
