i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i came on her dog
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
