I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
