Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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