I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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