You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
