"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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