I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
