Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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