I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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