I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you never un-have a 4some
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
